Ooh!~ (Please don’t judge me, Tumblr. I know a lot of people shit on the Snape/Hermione shippers, but it’s one of my OTPs, okay? And I ship AU NotDead!Snape with MatureAdult!Hermione, so… Please don’t send me hate I don’t judge your ships okay thank you yes please goodbye. Also, for the purposes of this, I’m going to assume they live in a cottage somewhere nearby the castle, but not actually in it, and both teach there. Otherwise, the Hogwarts elves would just do everything, and where’s the fun in that?)
send me a ship and I’ll tell you who:
- makes the bed in the mornings
- Definitely Hermione. It would get on her nerves if she didn’t do it. Like, eye twitchingly on her nerves. And Severus has way more important things to care about. He’d just roll out of bed and strut out of the room to head out to the Great Hall for coffee. Even with the war being over, and finally being able to relax a little, Severus was likely never a morning person. Merlin save the student that tries to pester him before breakfast.
- has sole posession of the T.V. remote
- I think Hermione would care more about watching TV than Severus would, but she’d get him interested in a few shows. He’d never admit how much he liked them, of course, but he’d pout and sulk if she changed the channel while he was watching it. I think he’d secretly be very fond of Mythbusters.
- is the bigger cuddler
- Severus, though he’d never admit it. He needs the physical comfort after everything he’s been though. Hermione would be happy to oblige though, given that she could use it, too.
- does the laundry
- Hermione. Severus actually DOES know how to do it the muggle way, but he can’t be bothered to fold the clothes without magic, and Hermione finds the task physically comforting, if a little mind numbing.
- mows the lawn
- Neither. At least, not the muggle way. Severus never bothered to learn how to tend to a yard, and Hermione almost caught the lawnmower on fire trying to use it. After a lot of swearing and kicking on her part, Severus dragged her back into the house and made her promise to use magic from now on.
- shops for groceries
- Whoever is less busy that week, but they try to make a point to go together. Hermione does okay in the kitchen, but now that he has the time and resources, Severus has really come to love cooking. Unfortunately, this also means that he’s developed a deep interest in learning about food, and gets easily distracted in all of the aisles of the store. They usually do their shopping in a muggle store in London, because they have more of a variety there.
- comes home drunk at 3am
- It’s rare these days, but Severus would be more likely to do it. He drinks more in general. Usually, if they’re out drinking at all, it’s at a party together. Otherwise, Severus usually drinks at home.
- makes breakfast
- If it’s a day off, Severus does. Hermione tries, and he appreciates the effort, but they’re both well aware that he bests her in that department. Otherwise, they usually just eat at the school.
- remembers to feed the fish
- They’re not allowed to keep fish anymore, after the incident with Crookshanks. Severus makes a big show of having to put up with him, but I do think he’s got a soft spot in his heart for the half-kneazle, which he shows only on the rarest of occasions.
- decorates the apartment
- Hermione. Severus offers his unwarranted opinion on it whenever she changes something, but he doesn’t care enough to do the decorating himself. As long as it’s reasonably presentable and not overly tacky, Severus will deal with it.
- initiates duets
- Severus, actually. But only in private. He’ll sing in public if the situation calls for it, but he’s easily embarassed by it, even though he’s got a lovely singing voice. Hermione likes to sing at home, but she’s convinced she never does it well enough, and tends to be very shy about it.
- falls asleep first
- Hard to say. I think it would depend on who is more exhausted that day. They’re both prone to insomnia after the war, and tend to get too involved with their respective reading to notice the time.
Yay another snamione shipper.
This is really cute and rather accurate according to most of the Snamione fics I’ve read ;d